


Of Embarrassing Moments, Internet Search Vortexes and Avocado Brownies

by Eratoschild



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Baking, Chill XV, Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Promnis Week 2018, embarrassing momemts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 06:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eratoschild/pseuds/Eratoschild
Summary: Prompto has an embarrassing moment while helping Ignis make brownies. Ignis reveals a couple of secrets.





	Of Embarrassing Moments, Internet Search Vortexes and Avocado Brownies

**Author's Note:**

> Belated post for Promnis Week 2018 for the prompt "Ignis teaches Prompto how to cook". Awkward Teenage Crush Prompto is my new favorite thing to write.

While Noctis and Prompto played games after school, Ignis arrived and began his usual work rustling around the kitchen. Hoping he wasn't being too obvious, Prompto waited exactly twenty-three seconds before he jumped up to...get a drink. Yeah that's it, he was thirsty. And that Ignis was in the kitchen? Coincidence. Pure coincidence, _honest_. 

“Hey Noct, I'm gonna get a drink. Want anything?”

Noctis rolled his eyes. “Subtle. No, I'm fine. Go see what Specs is up to, just don't drool too much.”

He swatted at Noctis. “Shhhhhh! C’mon Noct!” he hissed as he got up. Sometimes Prompto wished he had never told his best friend about the crush he had on his advisor. His utterly perfect and gorgeous advisor. But Noctis probably would have figured it out anyway because he kept doing things like running into the kitchen the minute Ignis arrived and staring at his butt whenever it was even vaguely in his line of sight. What else was he supposed to do? It was like Ignis picked out his pants to make sure everyone knew how amazing it was. Like it would be rude _not_ to look, right? 

Heading into the kitchen and hoping he didn't embarrass himself, Prompto could see that Ignis was preparing to bake something. “Whatcha making?” he called over his shoulder as he rummaged around in the fridge and finally emerged with a bottle of water.

“I'm going to make brownies.”

Forgetting all about playing it cool, Prompto asked, perhaps a bit overly eagerly, if he could help. “Your brownies are amazing and I'd really love to know how to make them myself?” he gushed hopefully . 

Ignis didn't say anything but gave him a lopsided smile and then a long, considering look before disappearing around the corner into the living room. He returned a few seconds later and stepped a bit closer than usual before asking in a hushed voice. "Can you keep a secret?” 

Even more nervous thanks to the close proximity- Prompto could see the individual links in the chain that held the skull pendant around his neck, see the weave in the fabric of his wildly printed shirt that would look ghastly on anyone else. He froze for half a second. Slightly confused, he opened his mouth, closed it, then nodded. Secret? For brownies?

"Under penalty of death?"

Now he was becoming alarmed. “Are we still talking about brownies?"

Ignis replied wryly, "As it happens, we are. I am afraid that I would fear for your safety if his Highness found out that you knew this and still let him eat them."

”What, do you make them out of carrots and beans or something?” _Wait, Ignis would fear? For my safety? He cares about my safety? And he’s standing so close to me. I wouldn’t even really had to move to kiss him. Oh my god I could kiss him if I wanted to. Right now. If? I want to. Ugh. I can’t. He’d probably never speak to me again. How red is my face right now?_

A finger to his lips in a a shushing gesture, Ignis shook his head and continued, his tone becoming conspiratorial, "I think that’s beyond my culinary skill. The secret is that my recipe contains avocado.”

“Avocado, huh? Yeah I never would have guessed that. Eww. But they’re so good? Your brownies, I mean, not avocados. Ewww.”

“As you already know, the flavor is too mild to be noticed over the chocolate,” Ignis explained with a wicked grin, “Noct never suspects a thing I add it to all of the chocolate baked goods that I make for him.”

“Hey, coming back in here?” Noctis called from the other room.

“Uh, I think I’m gonna help make brownies if that’s ok?”

“You’re ditching me for my advisor.”

“I don't have to…”

“Nah, it’s ok. I think I could use a nap anyway.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yeah, go on! You can make sure Specs doesn’t sneak in any carrots.”

“You have my word that Ignis will add no carrots in the brownies.” The two of them exchanged smirks. 

“So have you aways done this, added avocado to brownies?”

“Only since I've been cooking for Noct. I also puree banana peppers and add them to his pasta sauce.”

“Wow, I never knew you were so…devious?”

“My training as a strategist has been quite thorough.”

They got started on the brownies. Prompto quickly halved and smashed the well-ripened avocado. “So...,” he mused, “I’m getting a feeling that brownies and pasta sauce aren't the end of it. You add stealth vegetables to a lot of things, don’t you?”

Ignis narrowed his eyes and stared into the distance for a few seconds. The he moved closer and dropped his voice a bit. “Are you sure you want to know about the seamy underbelly of cooking for Noct?”

“When you put it like that? Yes!”

“You know that “lemon” bread I make? It’s really zucchini bread with lemon. Noct once asked me what the green bits were. He actually didn’t believe me when I said it was zucchini and is convinced that it’s really lemon-lime. I dread the day he is disabused of the notion. With Hamburgers, I grate cauliflower into the meat. Actually, I use grated cauliflower a lot. It hides easily. And scallions. They’re green but somehow Noct never notices them, even when they’re sitting right on top of the dish but I also chop them finely and add them to nearly everything.”

Prompto's eyes grew wide at the information. “He'd have you strung up for treason if he knew!”

“He could try, I suppose, but I am reasonably confident that the king would override him.”

“Oh, yeah I guess so! Anyway, I don't think most people notice garnish. and that's pretty much what scallions usually are.”

“You have a point.”

“Wow, and I've been eating your cooking all this time. It's so good! I never knew.” _No! That sounded bad! “_ Uh, not that I have a problem eating vegetables, I really like vegetables.” _Good catch_ , he thought to himself. _Wouldn't want Ignis to think I didn't like them either. “_ But you still nag him about eating them?”

“Noct is smart. If I stopped, he'd suspect something. Also, there is the force of habit.”

“Ah yeah, that makes sense.”

“Could you grease that pan with a bit of coconut oil?”

“Yeah sure.”

Prompto grabbed a small spatula to dig out some of the solidified oil. He opened the jar, inhaled the scent and closed his eyes, suddenly thinking of suntan lotion and a vacation at the beach. What he didn't expect to hijack his brief daydream was a swimsuit-clad Ignis walking across his mental images. “Mmmm...” he wasn't sure if he was reacting to the thought or the smell but he opened his eyes to see Ignis giving him a funny little look. 

“I like the smell of coconut oil too.”

“Oh um sorry! Sorry! Grease the pan! Got it!”

“It's all right, nothing to panic over!”

“Right. It's just brownies.” He put the lid down and grabbed the spatula again. Nerves rattled, however unnecessarily, he jammed it into the jar and tried to scoop some out, only to find that he flicked his wrist a little too hard and sent a chunk of it flying. He watched as it soared, in slow motion, up, and then down...into Ignis's eye. Behind his glasses. 

Prompto gaped in horror. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to sink through the floor and never return. He wanted to tell Noct about the secret vegetables and hopefully be killed like Ignis suggested. Surely it would be painful but he didn't care. It would at least cancel out the profundity of the embarrassment he was suffering now. Or maybe Ignis would summon his daggers and do it himself. That would be fine. That would be great. He would deserve it. 

He buried his face in his hands. “Kill me? Please?”

“Prompto, it’s just a bit of coconut oil. I'm fine. If there's any possibility that you could learn to do that on command though, we could weaponize the technique.”

Allowing his fingers to separate slightly so that a crack formed between them, Prompto watched as Ignis took off his glasses, removed the offending substance and cleaned the residue from the lenses. “It's not ok! I just hit you with a big glob of oil!”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before replacing his glasses with a sigh. “Can I tell you another secret? One I will beg you for my own sake not to repeat to anyone?” Prompto could see a blush rising on his face.

“I don't know why you would trust me with a secret but I promise not to tell anyone.”

“I think you're being a bit overly dramatic,” Ignis replied, not unkindly. “Prompto, are you familiar with hibachi cooking?”

He took his hands from his face, curious. “That's the thing where they throw knives around and light food on fire?

“Er, um, well, yes. Among other things such as cooking food. ”

“Do you do that? I bet you'd be amazing with all the knives and fire and everything!” Prompto leaned on the counter, chin on his fists, embarrassment all but forgotten.

Ignis’s face now held an amused smile. “Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. I have been taking lessons in the style of cooking for a while now and we recently got to some of the more showy maneuvers. And a couple of nights ago, the instructor had us try a few things ourselves.”

“You got them perfectly, didn't you?” Prompto could practically feel the little cartoon hearts popping out of his eyes as he asked the question but he didn't care. 

Ignis blushed a little more and snorted softly. “Not exactly.”

“What? _You_ messed up _kitchen knives_?”

“I did,” he confessed. “I believe I was a little overly confident. I put a little too much spin on one of the tosses and...it's a good thing we were using blunt plastic practice blades, else the instructor may have lost some fingers.”

“Did you just want to die on the spot?”

“I briefly considered the implements available to me and just how many ways I could make that happen, yes.”

“I'm glad you didn't!”

“It was the wise choice, yes. So you see, your little mishap with coconut oil was hardly the end of the world.”

“Hmm, yeah I guess so.”

By now the scent of baking brownies was filling the kitchen. Prompto wished he knew what to say next but they seemed to have fallen into a slightly awkward silence. He felt the need to fill it and even more need to let Ignis know that he wouldn't betray his confidences. “I won't tell anyone. About your knife-flinging. Or your life of vegetable-laundering crime.” 

“I know you won't, but thank you.” Ignis gave him a smile. It was small, and it was soft, but Prompto somehow felt like the very light of the heavens was suddenly shining on him in that moment. (Okay maybe that was just the glow from the oven as Ignis opened the door to check the brownies, the smell of them flooding out into the room in full force definitely added to the effect.)

“Are they done?”

“I believe they are,” Ignis replied as he retrieved the pot holders and brought the pan to the counter. “Would you like the recipe, by the way?”

“Yes!” 

“We’ll just let these cool a bit before they’re ready to cut.”

While they waited, Ignis sent Prompto the recipe- a fairly basic brownie recipe, with avocado, and Ignis explained how he could add other things to it like nuts, if he so wished. 

“Hmmm…I thinkI have an idea.”

“Oh? What would you add to them”

“I think I want to try it myself before I say anything.”

“You will have to let me know how it turns out.”

“Okay, sure.” 

“And now, I think these are probably about ready to cut.”

Noctis came wandering out of the living room a minute later, just as Prompto was taking a bite of the first brownie from the pan. “Hey guys, are the brownies out?”

“I’m just finished cutting them, Noct,” Ignis replied.

“Good. I want- what is that? Why is it in my kitchen?” Noct suddenly demanded, pointing at the counter with a look of horror.

_That_ was the pit and skin of the avocado. _Oops_ thought Prompto, then acted quickly and shoved the remainder of his brownie into Noct’s mouth to distract him. “Here! You _have_ to taste these! They’re amazing, and absolutely free of carrots!”

Noctis’s eyes widened as he took a bite. “Oh gods, specs you haven’t made these in a while, I had no idea how much I missed them. Need a glass of milk…” He wandered off to get glass from the cabinet and Ignis discreetly cleared the offending scraps from the counter. Prompto breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

A few minutes later, they were all sitting around the table with a plate of brownies and glasses of milk- or an Ebony, in Ignis’s case. Promto and Noctis were talking about weekend plans when Noctis looked up to Ignis and asked “So, you never did tell me what that… _thing_ was doing on my counter. Are you poisoning me?”

“It was mine!” Prompto jumped in.

“But you hate avocado just like me!”

“Yeah, I know. Ignis brought it for me though. Different kinds taste differently and a little while back he told me about Bacon avocados. I was curious so he brought one to try.”

“Riiiiiiight. Bacon flavored avocado. I’m supposed to believe you,” Noct replied with narrowed eyes.

“Is it the you do not believe that I would bring one for Prompto or is it that you do not believe there is such a thing as a Bacon avocado?”

Noct’s eyes darted between them a few times. Glaring, he picked up his phone and tapped at the screen. Finally, he put it down. “Okay, fine. I Moogled it. But next time you decide to try weird new vegetables, do it in one of your own kitchens.”

He returned to his brownie and Ignis and Prompto exchanged subtle looks. Crisis averted.

A bit later, Prompto was getting ready to head home. “Would you like a ride? I’ve a few errands to run that will take me near your apartment.”

“Uh, y-yeah. Sure. Thanks!” And there was that nervousness again. They got in the car and started down the street. 

“Thank you for your quick thinking today. It would have been rather unfortunate if the secret had been discovered quickly after you learned it. I do hope, however, that Noct doesn’t get more curious and try to find out about the actual flavor of Bacon avocados.”

“Well, I never said they were bacon _flavored._ If he decided that they were based on the name, it’s not our problem is it?”

“I do believe you are correct, Prompto. How did you know about Bacon avocados anyway? They’re not a variety that one finds around here very often.”

“I was doing some research for a school assignment a few mights ago and…did you ever have one of those searches where you start out looking for something on say, Altissian literature and end up clicking on a relevant link, and then something on that page looks interesting so you click that, and then another link on the next page and the next thing you know, you’ve been reading about the migratory patterns of diurnal Tenebraean pygmy moths for the last hour?” 

Ignis looked a bit confused. “I think I have managed to avoid such experiences.”

_Oh gods, he thinks I’m an idiot._ “Heh. Well…that’s basically how it happened. I do that sometimes. Never had the information become so useful like that before though.”

“I see. Well, I am glad that you ended up reading about avocados this time and not moths.”

“Oh, no. The avocados were somewhere in the middle of that. I really did end up reading about the moths.”

“Ah. Well, perhaps that information will be useful someday too.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he laughed. Ignis pulled up to his apartment. “Well, here we are.”

“Yeah. Thanks for the ride! I appreciate it. I’ll let you know how it goes when I make the brownies myself!” He had the door open and was halfway out of the car when a hand on his wrist stopped him. Prompto turned back to see Ignis smiling at him.

“Seriously, thank you for your quick thinking today. I know it wouldn’t really be the end of the world if Noct found out about the brownies, but it would make for a lot more headaches. Remember what I said about the zucchini bread.”

Was he imagining it, or was there something besides friendliness and gratitude in that smile? Nah, it had to be his imagination. The hand was still on his wrist. Why? It had gotten his attention. And now he realized that the thumb of that hand was brushing back and forth across the wrist it was holding and he suddenly couldn’t speak. They were frozen, save that thumb, for several long seconds before Prompto regained his voice.“Lemon-Lime!” he squeaked, and it was as if breaking a spell.

“Er, yes. Lemon-lime.” replied Ignis. “I ah, should be going.”

“Yeah, I should get in. Thanks again for the ride!”

A few days later, nervous but determined, Prompto arrived at Ignis's office in the Citadel. He tapped on the door frame and waited for Ignis to look up before stepping inside.

“H-hello, Prompto. This is a surprise! I haven't seen you since-“

“Yeah, I've been spending some time working on my photography for a few days. Got some great shots!”

“That's wonderful! I don't imagine you're here to show me your photos though?”

“No. I uh, I was working on something else too. Or, well I did once and I think it turned out pretty good and-,” he realized he was rambling, and Ignis looked slightly puzzled so he dug into his bag and pulled out a small foil-wrapped package. “Uh, here. I said I'd tell you how it went?”

“Ah, you made the brownies? And what did you add to them?”

“Ummmm...it's a surprise? I promise it's good. I think it is anyway but oh um wait what if you don't like them uh-“

Ignis was opening the packet. He brought it close to his face and sniffed delicately. “They smell absolutely divine. Is that coconut? Even if your additive is not to my preference I'm sure they're wonderful.” Prompto bounced on his toes in anticipation as he reached in and broke off a piece of one, held his breath as he put it in his mouth, gnawed on his lip watching for facial reactions. 

Ignis closed his eyes, chewing slowly, then swallowed. Prompto wanted to demand his answer but kept his mouth shut. “Well, I was right about the coconut. What form did you use, I don't detect a texture from it. And is that...oh my, is that Leiden pepper?”

“Yes! I'm sorry it was a bad idea!” He cried.

“Just the opposite, it's quite good. I've heard of peppers and chocolate but- oh my, there's the full kick of it!”

“Too much? Oh and I used coconut oil instead of butter.”

“A bit more than I am accustomed to but no, it's rather enjoyable in this combination, it was just a surprise is all.” Ignis then took the rest of the brownie out and folded the foil back over the others. “I will definitely be enjoying these.” He took a sip of his Ebony and then the brownie was halfway to his mouth when his eyes flew wide open. “Oh! I seem to have lost my manners, would you like to sit?”

Prompto giggled at the sudden formality. “It’s ok. I have to go meet Noct so I can't stay.. in glad you liked them though!”

“Yes, very much. Oh, by the way I believe I experienced that phenomenon of which you spoke.”

“Phenomen- oh! Diurnal Tenebraean Pygmy moths?”

“Close. Fossilized lichens found at the Rock of Ravatogh.”

“There are lichens at the Rock of Ravatogh?”

“That's the exact question that passed through my kind as I clicked on the link.”

“Bet you learned some interesting things, but will any of it ever be as useful as Bacon avocados?” Prompto asked teasingly, slightly emboldened by the reception of his brownies. 

“Hmm, I suppose we’ll have to see the next time we cook something?” Ignis replied, matching his tone, one corner of his lips twitching. “Actually, I did want to ask, forgive me if this is rather forward but I ah, I was wondering if you might like to cook something together again?”

_Wait, what?_ “Oh, yeah I'd be happy to help you cook for Noct any time!”

“That wasn't exactly, er what I meant to say was, would you,” he paused, took a breath and spoke again. “I am asking if you would like to get together, you and I, not at Noct's place? A date?”

_Oh. Wait, what? Oh! “_ Um, I um.” _Smooth. Very nice, Argentum. Ignis Scientia just_ asked you _out. Wait. IGNIS SCIENTIA. JUST ASKED. YOU OUT. QUICK! SAY SOMETHING._ “Uh, only if we don't have to eat anything that involves hiding the vegetables?” _Yeah that was slick_. _“_ Gods that was a stupid thing to say.” But Ignis was actually laughing.

“No, no it's a perfectly valid concern. And I'm pretty sure it can be arranged. Now, don't let me keep you any longer from meeting Noct. I'll text you later this evening and we can make plans?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

**Author's Note:**

> No, Bacon Avocados do not taste like bacon. I learned this by googling them. However, I did not learn anything about moths or lichens in the process.


End file.
